I am more motivated than ever. This year, will be a great year. To quote a friend:

seize the day but don’t live like there is no tomorrow. go out and enjoy the fun. drink your favorite drink. feel a little buzz in your head but not to be drunk. dance. sing. or even scream just to release what’s inside. cry. its alright to cry. rest your body and your brain. force yourself not to worry cos it wont do you any good. its like a rocking chair that will give you something to do but take you to nowhere. exercise. have sex. give and take the pleasure. stimulate your brain cells. seek a deep conversation. speak. read and listen. get yourself any kind of knowledge. who knows it may save you one day. watch a movie. search for all entertainment available. spend some alone time. contact with your inner self. you owe it to yourself. have a dream and try to live it. set a goal and make it happen. be confident. don’t push yourself too hard. anything thats too much is never good. keep balance. be in control of life. be care free not care less. create and consume. love.

I have printed this out and placed it on my wall :)

A quick post to say, Dec left England yesterday. He’s meeting his girlfriend for 3 months in Thailand, before they both move on to Australia to lounge around, then find some work (they have work visas sorted out). Of course we’ll miss him loads, but we’re very jealous and taking our hats off to him for doing this :) With this virtual world though, no-one ever seems that far away… and fingers crossed as many of us as possible can meet up during summer 2007.

Good luck dude (and Mel)!

Today my mum, dad, brother and I went to the Tara Centre Summer Fayre (events). The Tara Centre is a Buddhist study and meditation college about 15 minutes drive away from our home, near the village of Etwall. My dad goes once a week for meditation class, but this was the first time he’d been to look around the place more closely, so it was a first for all of us.

- Ashe Hall, the main building at The Tara Centre.

Despite the place being very busy (great! lots of money raised I hope!), it seemed really lovely - gorgeous surroundings! I can imagine it would be incredibly peaceful during times of normality. Situated within 38 acres of woodland and fields you get the feeling that you could really escape from the comparitively fast-paced “real world”, which is kind of the point really!

- Catching a peaceful moment, away from the day’s events.

- The Barn Retreat, where you can stay during your time at Ashe Hall.

Dad introduced me to a young woman called Choweng, who is a nun living at the college. Vietnamese, born and raised in Australia, set out to the UK to travel and ended up at the Tara Centre and never left! That was 4 years ago. Quite amazing really. She was very nice and encouraged me to come and stay… though I’d already decided that it was something I definitely wanted to do. Dad has offered to pay for me to stay for 1 week (�165 including food and accomodation)… though if possible I think I’d like to pay the extra and stay for 1 month (�380 total). Even though a week would be great, it might be too short to make any real impact on my psych�, so assuming I have the time (which I think I will) I’d rather try and last a month :)

All in all a nice day, with nice people, in the english countryside, with lovely weather! :)

Once you’ve had it, there is no escape. Torn away, you crave it, as a druggie craves their next hit. Left with only persistant memories, idealistic thoughts, you become an infatuation junkie.

There is NO better feeling than meeting someone with whom you have a spark. That instant emotionally powerful and passionate connection. You feel alive! You chat for hours about everything and nothing. You get excited about doing crazy things you’ve always wanted to do but either never had the guts to do it alone, or never found anyone else who gave a damn. You confide in each other your wishes, hopes, dreams, and insecurites with an ease like no other. The feeling of isolation, loneliness and being misunderstood begins to fade. Could this be someone who will join you on your journey through life?

… but as quickly as it began, it is gone.

The spark is but a momentary thing, bursting into life with such intense vigour and overwhelming brightness, but naturally, it burns out. The analogy relates here aswell; Relationships formed in this way are unstable and highly likely to fail, at best, becoming a glowing ember, a shadow of their former selves. Why? Well that is another (very complicated) question…